Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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