I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
