In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
