mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
