we're blogging at a bar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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