I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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