I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
