How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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