Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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