So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
