so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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