Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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