The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
