What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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