Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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