dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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