I cockslap morals
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
