If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
