How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
