I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
