I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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