i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you had me at cake vodka
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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