3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
