you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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