I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
