what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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