the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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