I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
