: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
