his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
