But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
as a side note pls kill me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
