its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
