i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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