a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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