I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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