love makes seman taste better
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
