non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.