White coat. Heels.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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