just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Barsexuality is the new black.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do