Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I need water and some morals
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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