I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
