She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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