i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
