I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
