u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is Oprah even human
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
