You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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