Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
