Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
