I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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