Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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