It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
