He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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