I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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