Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
