Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'

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(801): View more from Utah

You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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(678): View more from Georgia

When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

(856): View more from New Jersey

dear god, who put you in a cab?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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(573): View more from Missouri

Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?

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(970): View more from Colorado

I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.

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