Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
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