He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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