jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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