i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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